Good day; I am Dexter, and I am the one who runs things technical for the New Guard and I'm pleased to work with them. I'm also the one who operated the robot that defused one of the Giants of Industry during that great unpleasantness.
But now for the matter at hand: For those of you who have a pressing need to get a hold of the New Guard via e-mail, just use e-mail. I read each and every e-mail that comes into our server, and I know which ones are important and which ones are not.
That's not to say that we don't like all the e-mails we get; it's just that the ones asking where Shift got his ink done and ones from a government agency asking for assistance will be treated differently.
So, please stop using interesting programs to try to get your e-mail to the top of the list. If you need to be at the top of the list, you will already be there. If you use a program to move yourself up in the Queue of Attention, that will just make the New Guard wonder what is wrong with you.
And now to answer some of the more common questions that we have received:
1. Yes, they are just as pretty as they appear to be.
2. Yes, they are just as handsome as they appear to be.
3. Yes, it is all over his body.
4. No, he doesn't know where the Mona Lisa was taken or how it got back.
Thank you.
Thank you, Dexter. Most of the questions people e-mail to us directly are discussed at length in the forums and FAQ section of our website. Please read these areas before going to the trouble of writing us an e-mail. Dexter has put together a truly revolutionary search algorithm for the forums, so you should be able to find the answers to your questions rather easily.
ReplyDeleteJust as long as those questions don't involve our secret IDs.
ReplyDeleteOkay, trying this comment interface again...
ReplyDeleteAnd trying again...
ReplyDeleteThat's more like it!
ReplyDelete