Another One Rides the Bus

We had something of a feeling of deja vu here at the New Guard recently. Someone (or several someones) attempted to hijack the prisoner transfer vehicle taking several supers we had captured to a more secure facility for long term incarceration. The means of attack was something we are still investigating, but we have several leads on it. We also encountered a new super on the Lakeport scene while we were there. His name is Hellquin, and he seems to have a decidedly more lethal modus operandi than the New Guard. We obviously dislike crime, and seek to stop criminals from hurting people, but we don't think that it is necessary to use lethal force to do so. Killing, in the vast majority of instances, is wrong, even when the victim isn't a saint. Because we didn't want to sit by and watch Hellequin mete out his own brand of justice, we were forced to fight against him. We managed to hurt him badly, but he escaped before we could capture him.

Of the criminals who were attempting escape, several managed to get away but we defeated the majority and ensured that they would finish the trip they started. Those who did escape will likely be on the local news channels soon. If you see them, do not attempt to make any kind of contact with them. They are all extremely dangerous. If you can do so without drawing attention to yourself, contact the authorities immediately. The New Guard will also be on the lookout for them and we are confident in our ability to recapture them and send them on their way to the proper facilities.

Thank you for reading.

A note to those who need to get to us via e-mail

Good day; I am Dexter, and I am the one who runs things technical for the New Guard and I'm pleased to work with them. I'm also the one who operated the robot that defused one of the Giants of Industry during that great unpleasantness.

But now for the matter at hand: For those of you who have a pressing need to get a hold of the New Guard via e-mail, just use e-mail. I read each and every e-mail that comes into our server, and I know which ones are important and which ones are not.

That's not to say that we don't like all the e-mails we get; it's just that the ones asking where Shift got his ink done and ones from a government agency asking for assistance will be treated differently.

So, please stop using interesting programs to try to get your e-mail to the top of the list. If you need to be at the top of the list, you will already be there. If you use a program to move yourself up in the Queue of Attention, that will just make the New Guard wonder what is wrong with you.

And now to answer some of the more common questions that we have received:
1. Yes, they are just as pretty as they appear to be.
2. Yes, they are just as handsome as they appear to be.
3. Yes, it is all over his body.
4. No, he doesn't know where the Mona Lisa was taken or how it got back.

Thank you.

Invisible Island Lair?

Finally, we were able to take the fight to the Robber Baron, rather than continuing to play a reactive role. Anticipating his attack on the shipments coming into Lakeport to replace the commodities he had already stolen, we devised a plan to track him back to his lair, suspecting it was fairly close to the city. We were not disappointed. He had apparently built some kind of mobile island with a cloaking device on it, and had parked it out in the middle of Lake Michigan. From there, he had been launching his attacks on Lakeport without much fear of detection and without the need for long-range travel by his minions.

Thankfully, with the assistance of some of our more official crime-fighting counterparts, we found this lair and were able to storm it, recovering the stolen goods and rendering the base inoperable. By inoperable, of course, I mean full of water at about 900 feet down in a 22,000 square mile lake. We also faced some of his newest creations and showed them to be as inadequate as the prior versions, though they did show some interesting technological advancements I will need to study further. We also faced several supers he seems to have brought in specifically for base security, and were able to take them down as well. We weren't able to capture the Robber Baron himself, but I think it will likely be a long time before he attacks Lakeport again, seeing that the cost/benefit is certainly no longer in his favor.

Shai taishite haidoku.